CHOOSING YOUR SOLEMNISER: MORE THAN JUST A FORMALITY

You’ve got the venue, picked your outfits, maybe even designed your invites. But one crucial detail often gets left to the last minute: who’s going to marry you legally?

One crucial detail often gets left to the last minute: who’s going to marry you legally?

Nope, not your partner. We’re talking about your solemniser — the licensed individual who makes your marriage official in Singapore.

While some couples treat this like a box to tick, finding the right solemniser isn’t just admin — it’s emotional. This is the person who stands with you in front of your closest loved ones, guiding you through one of the most personal and sacred moments of your life.

💡 What Does a Solemniser Do?

If you’re getting married outside of ROM (like at a hotel, garden, or your own home), you’ll need to engage a licensed solemniser to conduct your ceremony.

They’ll handle the legal documents, ask for your consent, and witness the signing of your marriage certificate. And depending on who you choose, they might also offer words of wisdom, crack a well-timed joke, or add a personal story to make the moment truly memorable.

Pictured here (extreme left) is licensed solemniser, Dr Shirley Low.

💍 7 Things to Know Before You Book a Solemniser

1. They’re Not All the Same

Some are straight-laced and formal. Others are warm, funny, and full of heart. There’s no one “right” type — but there is a right one for you.

📝 Think about your vibe. Want a short-and-sweet ceremony? Or something more personal and sentimental? Ask your potential solemniser how they usually run things.

2. Book Early, Especially for Hot Dates

Popular solemnisers get snapped up months in advance. If you’ve picked a special date (08/08, 10/10 etc.), don’t wait.

📅 Best to start looking 3–6 months in advance.

3. Meeting Them Is Usually Required

You'll need to meet up (in person or via Zoom) to sign the consent form and run through the flow of your ceremony. It’s also a chance to ask questions and see if their style fits yours.

💬 Tip: Share a bit of your love story — many solemnisers love weaving in personal touches.

4. No Fees, But a Token of Thanks Is Appreciated

Solemnisers in Singapore volunteer their services. There’s no official fee — but a red packet or small gift is a thoughtful way to show appreciation.

💌 Usual range: $38–$128, depending on your budget and how far they travel.

5. You Don’t Need to Invite Them to Stay

Most solemnisers leave after the ceremony. It’s totally normal — but if you’d like them to stay for the meal or tea ceremony, do ask in advance.

6. Always Get Their Backup Contact

If your solemniser has an emergency and can’t make it, they’ll usually arrange a “buddy solemniser” to take over. But you need to have that person’s contact info ready, just in case.

📞 Ask for this during your meetup.

7. Bilingual or Dialect-Speaking? Clarify Early

If your family speaks Mandarin, dialects, or even Malay or Tamil, check if your solemniser is comfortable hosting in multiple languages.

🌐 It makes a huge difference for elderly guests to feel included.

💡 Final Thoughts

Your solemniser isn’t just a formality — they’re the person who holds space for you in that once-in-a-lifetime moment. The one who helps you breathe through the nerves, who looks you in the eye and says, “You may now kiss the bride.”

So take a little time. Ask around. Find someone who gets you. Because in the sea of planning stress, this is one choice that can truly set the tone for everything that comes after.

✅ Need help finding one? Check out our next post, Shortlist of 30 Most Popular Solemnisers in Singapore.

👘 Style Note: It’s Okay to Wear a Qun Kua for ROM

Here’s a tip many couples don’t know: It’s okay to wear your Qun Kua (裙褂) during your solemnisation or ROM.

The rich red and intricate embroidery photographs so well, especially in daylight ceremonies.

You don’t need to “save it” just for the tea ceremony or banquet. Wearing your traditional Chinese wedding attire at your ROM is a beautiful way to honour your heritage right from the start.

Why it works:

• It makes a bold, beautiful statement. The rich red and intricate embroidery photographs so well, especially in daylight ceremonies.

• It’s practical. If you're having a smaller celebration, it saves you from needing multiple outfit changes.

• It’s symbolic. The Qun Kua isn’t just attire — it’s a visual blessing of prosperity, love, and good fortune. Why wouldn’t you wear that when signing your marriage papers?

So yes — wear it with pride, and walk into your new chapter with heritage woven into every stitch.

💬 Ready to Plan Your Ceremony Look Too?

Once you've found your perfect solemniser, don’t forget the other key ingredient: what you’ll wear for this once-in-a-lifetime moment. Whether you're going for a modern touch or full-on tradition, we've got you covered.

At The Red Wedding, we help couples find the perfect traditional Chinese attire — from Qun Kua to Ma Kua, lovingly curated for elegance, symbolism, and style.

✨ Book your try-on session with us and discover what makes our pieces truly unforgettable. Let’s help you look and feel your best when you say “I do.”