GUO DA LI 过大礼: THE CHINESE BETROTHAL CEREMONY - WHAT IT IS & HOW TO PREPARE
- janet934
- 3 hours ago
- 6 min read
💍 What is Guo Da Li 过大礼?
Guo Da Li is the traditional Chinese betrothal ceremony, where the groom’s family formally presents gifts to the bride’s family as a gesture of sincerity and respect. It’s more than just an exchange of items — it’s a symbolic act of trust, commitment, and harmony between two families.
Though practices vary between dialect groups (Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, Hainanese, etc.), the intention remains universal: to affirm the upcoming marriage and bless the couple with prosperity, harmony, and fertility.
🗓️ When Does It Happen?
Typically, 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding day, on a date chosen based on the Chinese lunar calendar or recommended by a feng shui master. Some couples also choose to do the Jia Zhuang (嫁妆) — the bride’s dowry delivery — on the same day, though it's not mandatory.
🎁 What's in a Guo Da Li Gift Set?
The items vary by dialect but generally fall into these categories:
聘金 (Pin Jin) – Betrothal money presented in red packets
Dragon & Phoenix Candles – To represent marital harmony
喜饼 (Wedding pastries) – Usually distributed to relatives
Oranges or Apples – Symbols of peace and luck
Gold jewellery – Especially 四点金 (Si Dian Jin) for Teochew families
Liquor or wine – For celebration
Tea leaves or grains – Representing abundance
Roast pig/pig trotters – Often for Cantonese or Hokkien customs
📌 Each dialect group may have slight differences in the items required — your elders will usually guide you on what’s expected. But if you're unsure, we can also connect you with trusted partner vendors who specialise in Guo Da Li sets tailored for specific dialect traditions. They’ll help you navigate with clarity, whether you're Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, or Hainanese.
🎯 Modern Take: Many couples opt for more practical alternatives today, like gift sets from speciality vendors, simplified versions, or symbolic gestures (e.g., shopping vouchers or modern kitchenware).
🔄 The Hui Li 回礼: Return Gift Etiquette
It’s customary for the bride’s family to return a portion of the items received to the groom’s family. This may include:
Half the oranges, cakes, or liquor
A return roast pig or pig trotter
Red packet for 返礼 (as a token of goodwill)
This exchange signifies mutual respect and shared happiness between the families.
👰 Jia Zhuang 嫁妆: The Bride’s Dowry
This is when the bride’s family sends practical items to the couple’s future home, traditionally as a show of love and blessing.
Common dowry items include:
New bedding and pillows – For a fresh marital start
Sewing kit – Symbolising diligence and readiness
A full tea set – For the tea ceremony
Everyday items – Basins, slippers, laundry baskets, etc.
返礼红包 – A return gift in red packet form
🎯 Modern families may replace bulky items with stylish, useful upgrades like branded cookware, high-quality bedding, or lifestyle items the couple actually needs.
📋 Who Attends the Guo Da Li?
Traditionally:
The groom’s side (often accompanied by a senior male relative) presents the gifts
The bride’s parents receive them
The bride herself may or may not be present, depending on family customs — but many modern couples now attend together for a more relaxed, inclusive experience
👗 While there's no strict dress code, Guo Da Li is often photographed or filmed, making it a sentimental chapter in your wedding journey. Couples usually opt for outfits that are both comfortable and photo-worthy.
Popular outfit ideas include:
For brides:
Modern cheongsams or two-piece sets in soft hues like blush, champagne, or light blue
Dresses with subtle traditional elements (e.g. mandarin collars, delicate embroidery)
Effortless chic modern wear with a nod to tradition — and maybe a hint of red for luck
For grooms:
Long-sleeved shirts with mandarin collars
Minimalist suits in neutral or pastel tones
Smart casual styles with thoughtful accessories (like red pocket squares)
💄 To complete the look, many brides also engage our Makeup & Hairstyling service, designed to enhance your natural beauty while keeping the look fresh and elegant — ideal for morning rituals like Guo Da Li or casual wedding events where you still want to feel your best.
🧧 What’s the Usual Sequence?
Confirm the auspicious date
Prepare Guo Da Li gift sets (ask elders what’s needed)
Groom’s side delivers the gifts to the bride’s family
Bride’s family returns half the gifts (回礼 / Hui Li)
Dowry (嫁妆 / Jia Zhuang) is delivered later or on the same day
🧠 Feeling Lost? Here's Where We Come In
At The Red Wedding, we don’t just offer traditional Chinese wedding attire — we also provide experienced support through our Wedding Chaperone Service, designed to guide you and your family through important rituals like Guo Da Li, An Chuang, and even the Tea Ceremony.
Your chaperone will:
Explain the sequence of events clearly (no guesswork!)
Assist with presenting and receiving Guo Da Li items
Help elders and family members understand the customs
Ensure the entire process runs smoothly, respectfully, and on time
✨ Whether you're navigating different dialect expectations or just want someone to make sure you "do it right," our Wedding Chaperone is here to ease the load — so you can stay present and enjoy the moment. It’s a warm, knowledgeable helping hand during one of the most symbolic events leading up to your wedding.
🔔 Ask us how to add this to your wedding package when you book your trial session — and make tradition feel that much more meaningful.
❓ Guo Da Li: Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What does Guo Da Li mean, and is it still practised today?
A: Guo Da Li (过大礼) is a traditional Chinese betrothal ceremony symbolizing the groom’s sincerity and the formal union of two families. Yes — many modern couples still observe it, though often with simplified or adapted customs to suit their preferences and values.
Q: How far in advance should we prepare for Guo Da Li?
A: The ceremony usually takes place about 2–4 weeks before the wedding day. You’ll want to confirm an auspicious date early and prepare the items at least 2 weeks in advance to allow time for coordination and return gifts.
Q: What do we need to prepare for different dialects (Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, etc.)?
A: Each dialect group has slightly different expectations and items required. If you're unsure what’s appropriate for your family background, we offer a Wedding Chaperone Service who can guide you through the process with clarity and warmth.
Q: Do we have to return all the gifts we receive?
A: No — just a portion. This is known as “Hui Li (回礼)” and is meant as a symbolic gesture of appreciation. The exact items and amounts returned vary by tradition but often include half the pastries, liquor, or token amounts of the dowry.
Q: What should we wear on the day of Guo Da Li?
A: While there’s no fixed dress code, many couples opt for attire that’s elegant, comfortable, and photo-ready. Popular options include modern cheongsams, two-piece sets, or smart casual outfits in soft tones.
Many brides also choose to engage our Makeup & Hairstyling Service for a fresh, natural look on this special day.
Q: Can The Red Wedding help us manage Guo Da Li?
A: We don’t plan the ceremony itself, but our Wedding Chaperone Service is perfect for couples who want expert guidance through Guo Da Li, An Chuang, and Tea Ceremony rituals.
You can also count on us to recommend reliable partner vendors for cakes, candles, or other essentials if needed.
Comments